Prompted by my dissatisfaction with the list from "Daydreaming in Ink," I decided to write my own list that doesn't include tired cliches like "Dance like a maniac in your room with your headphones in." Unlike the list from "Daydreaming in Ink," most of the items on my list aren't taken directly from a Taylor Swift song. Life is messy. If my daughter is smart, she will realize that "Don't smile if you don't mean it" is pretty unrealistic advice. So here's a list that I hope is a bit more... realistic.
~83 Things I Will Teach My Daughter~
1. The most beautiful thing you can do is help someone else. Serving others teaches us to be compassionate and humble. Develop a servant's heart and you will be beautiful to everyone you meet.
2. Don't just develop a voice, develop a voice that speaks truth. Everyone has a voice these days. Don't just add to the noise. Speak truth and speak life by using encouraging words.
3. Before you complete number 2, develop ears to listen. Only a fool utters everything on her mind. A wise person listens first, then speaks carefully.
4. Jealousy is crippling. When you experience jealousy (and you will), don't feed your jealousy. Avoid it if you can.
5. Never compromise your values to be with someone (friends, family, significant other, etc.).
6. Go to church at least once a week, even if you only go halfheartedly.
7. Don't go to church alone. Bring friends/family or make friends while you're at church.
8. You can be a Christian and a feminist at the same time. Don't let anyone tell you that Jesus isn't a feminist. He is!
9. And don't settle for a partner who is afraid to call himself a feminist.
10. Even if a man buys you flowers, or a movie ticket, or dinner, or THE FREAKING MOON, you do not owe him anything. And the reverse is also true.
11. Travel as much as you can. Explore internationally, nationally, and everywhere else.
12. Travel with an open mind and an open heart. You never know who you will meet or what you will learn about other places and cultures.
13. Never forget your first love. Learn from your mistakes.
14. Catcalls are NOT compliments.
15. Don't wear too much perfume. That's annoying.
16. Find an activity you love and pursue it with all of your heart. Whether it's a hobby or a future career goal, be passionate about something that can positively change your life.
17. Play an instrument or sing. Nothing compares to the joy that is making music.
18. Your size/age/appearance does not determine your worth. God determines your worth. And you are incredibly loved by God and me.
19. Chances are, you're probably going to be tall because I'm tall. So.... WEAR THE HEELS. Height doesn't matter. Who cares if you're taller than a boy? Tall women are where it's at.
20. If you don't like heels, that's cool, too.
21. Please, read Pride and Prejudice. And Jane Eyre. And Shakespeare. And... well, all of the classics, really. You will be well-read and you will like it.
22a. Maintain high standards. Having sex with someone before you're married only leads to heartbreak and really screwed up expectations. The wait is worth it. And if your partner respects you and values you, he will wait. It's not old-fashioned and it's not out of style. It's called commitment.
22b. Sex before marriage isn't the only way you can "go too far." Don't become too emotionally involved with someone, at least until you're out of high school. If someone tries to manipulate your emotions in order to be with you, that's unhealthy.
23. You don't have to buy into all of the latest trends. Avoid the trashy look. Less is more.
24. By "less is more," I mean the simpler you dress, the better. I didn't mean less actual clothing is more. Keep it classy. ;)
25. If he feels emasculated by your success or your job, don't waste your time on him.
26. Write songs or poetry or short stories or spoken word or paint or draw or ________. Just create something.
27. High school prom is seriously overrated.
28. But you should still go with all of your friends and have a great time and make fun memories!!!!!
29. On that note, high school is not the best time of your life.
30. ...... College is!
31. You won't marry the first person you date. So keep that in mind when you start dating.
32. Find a best friend who is a) a girl and b) makes you laugh so hard that you pee yourself.
33. If you lose touch with a dear friend, don't give up on the friendship. Chances are, you will reconnect in the future. Keep your heart open.
34. Don't burn bridges. Keep a good attitude with all of your employers and, if you leave a job, leave on a positive note. Oh, and always attempt to make a good first impression. :)
35. Don't hold grudges. Holding a grudge is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.
36. Wake up early and get stuff doooone. Mornings are the best.
37. Drink coffee, but not every day. Then you'll get caffeine headaches. :(
38. Being classy is NEVER overrated. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise.
39. Some people will dislike you for no reason. Don't let that get you down. Kill 'em with kindness
40. You have to learn Gravity by Sara Bareilles. Then we can sing it together over and over again. I can't wait! :)
41. Laugh often and laugh at yourself. It's okay.
42. Don't be afraid of change. Change can be a good thing.
43. Challenge yourself in school, specifically in your area(s) of interest. Stay motivated.
44. Learn to see the beauty in everything, every person, every situation. Despite the sin of this world, God creates beauty. It's really quite amazing.
45. Joy is not found in another person's arms. It never will be. Joy is found in Christ.
46. Just because you feel something very strongly, that doesn't make it right or true. You might feel like you are worthless, but that just isn't true. In the same way, you might feel that you are in love, but you might not be. Use your head and be logical. Don't trust your emotions too often.
47. However, learn to balance your head and your heart. You need to feel pain and compassion and sadness and loneliness and happiness and love and lust and emptiness in order to know the intensity of different emotions. This will help you learn what is right and what is wrong.
48. Be confident, but not cocky. Believe in yourself.
49. Go camping and hiking. Enjoy God's creation.
50. Go barefoot in the summer.
51. If a guy talks to you in cliches, get outta there ASAP.
52. You will have a bad haircut at least once. It's gonna be okay, though, because hair grows back.
53. You will be required to watch musicals with me, including Singin' in the Rain, Oklahoma, Fiddler on the Roof, and The Music Man.
54. It's okay to have doubts about your faith. Be open and be honest.
55. I want you to go skinny dipping with your girlfriends. Okay? Sorry for being cliche. But you won't regret this one, I promise! :)
56. It's okay if you don't like dolls, or dress-up, or jewelry, or dresses. It's also okay if you DO like those things. There isn't one definition of femininity.
57. If you can't wear sweatpants and go makeup-less in front of your friends and/or partner, you're hanging out with the wrong people.
58. Play a sport -- even if you suck at it.
59. You could always try running/jogging. That way, you are competing with yourself and no one else. ;)
60. The "bad boy" type is not all that he's cracked up to be... he may be exciting but he leaves you in a second for the next best thing.
61. The "good Christian boy" type isn't that great either. He's actually really dumb and boring, to be honest.
62. Don't date a musician.
63. If you spend more than 1 hour on social media sites each day, you're not living.
64. Food tastes good. So it's okay to like food and to like eating. That's not unfeminine and that's not unattractive. It's natural. Don't let anyone shame you for giving your body what it needs. And don't let anyone convince you that you need to deprive your body of nutrients.
65. Being a Christian doesn't mean you can't drink, or dance, or go out, or listen to secular music, or read popular fiction, or watch movies.
66. Don't ever get drunk.
67. If you happen to be drunk, don't send any texts.... trust me on this one.
68. You should have at least two dresses that make you feel like a queen.
69. Find friends who will stick with you through the good, bad, and in-between. This is extremely difficult to do. I don't have a fool-proof plan for finding this sort of friend, but I know it involves prayer.
70. Unrequited love is just as valid as any other type of love. It's just as electrifying and overwhelming. But realize that you can't be with someone who doesn't appreciate you. Never chase anyone. A person who wants to be with you will walk with you.
71. People love to share their scar stories. If you dread sharing yours, that's probably because your scar is not a scar at all, but still a wound.
72. Prefer flowers in your hair rather than diamonds around your neck.
73. You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to.
74. Never underestimate the power of a kidney punch - it'll knock the wind outta anyone.
75. Believe in God, even when God is silent.
76. Proofread your texts and emails and letters and PROOFREAD AGAIN.
77. Every single day you will walk past people who have experienced immense tragedy. Try to think of people as story books. Each one has an individual story with complexities and a different point of view. It's overwhelming to think about life in this way, but it has helped me learn to see people in a more compassionate way. Perhaps it will help you do the same.
78. I would like it if you would watch the Pirates of the Caribbean films (NOT the third one - it sucks). Then we can quote the entire movie to each other. Such fun.
79. The grapefruit diet is never a good idea. It just doesn't work.
80. Doing something "like a girl" is never a bad thing. If someone says you throw a ball "like a girl," accept the compliment! ;)
81. Go thrifting frequently. Don't be ashamed to shop at Goodwill!
82. Support women's rights. Support equal opotunities for women and men (and all people in general). But don't believe the lie that you have the right to kill a precious life that you helped create. Abortion is wrong.
82. Pray every single day.
83. You will always be loved.
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